Showing posts with label horror. Show all posts
Showing posts with label horror. Show all posts

Friday, November 1, 2013

HEP - 60 - Don't Go Stakin' My Heart


This week Al and Tony trek through the vampire-ravaged world of Stakeland. Tony talked about stuff. Albert said something stupid. As he was writing this blog post Albert clumsily tried to cover up the fact that he had forgotten most of what was actually said when the podcast was recorded, but that failed, so he turned it into one of those pretentious self-referential jokes instead. Shenanigans.

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Links:

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Flash Fiction Challenge - On the Frontiers of Madness



In 1845 Sir John Franklin left the ice-bound hulls his ships, the Terror and the Erebus, and led his men into the arctic wilderness carrying a sled-load of button polish, handkerchiefs, curtain rods and a writing desk. Why?

One theory posits that the men of the expedition were poisoned by the lead solder used on their canned food, and became completely delusional.

Imagine it. You're cut off from the world you know, pushing forward into a hostile and alien landscape, exploring territory never before mapped...and then you start seeing things. Without the grounding of familiarity how would you know what was real and was was illusion?

That's the essence of this challenge. Write a story in less than a thousand words about someone losing their grip on reality in a place where they can't be sure what reality is.

Send submissions to hepodcast @ gmail.com with "On the Frontiers of Madness" in the subject line with the story attached (we prefer .doc files if possible). We also prefer double spaced and with a clean font. Comic sans will get you an instant rejection.

The contest winner will be awarded ten dollars and have their story featured produced in audio form on the Human Echoes Podcast. Check out some of our other audio stories to get a feel for what we like.

The contest will end on November 15th, 2013.
















Wednesday, September 18, 2013

HEP - Short Echoes 7 - Zombies Have No Respect For Plumbing by Tony Southcotte




Zombies Have No Respect for Plumbing 
by Tony Southcotte

Zombies have no respect for plumbing. They don’t
teach you that when you fill out the paperwork for your
apprentice license.

Since the plague slowed down, people didn’t see the
need to finish off their family members. You just pay a
wrangler to tie them up, slap a rubber ball in the mouth,
and send them home. They may want to tussle with you every
once in a while, but for the most part they just sit there.

People hold on to some hope for a cure, but I know better.
Christ could raise Lazarus, but Lord knows he wouldn’t try
to bring a pork chop back to life.

I used to just pull hair out of drains. Use a snake or
some other such tool to drag natted balls of bath grime and
shaving leave-ins out of bathtubs.

This brings me to my current predicament. Standing in
the shower of some blue haired granny who just couldn’t say
goodbye to her oaf of a husband. I saw him walkin’ in, that
festering pile of meat. The red ball in his mouth would
have made him look like a pig on a spit, that is, if he
still had any natural color left in him.

She called to tell me her drain was backing up; that
a horrible smell and rusty colored substance was coming
through. I figured it was a sewage back up. Not my favorite
call, but you can gouge these people and they have to pay

Unfortunately for me, it wasn’t sewage.

When I start pullin’ the snake back, the white chunks
start dropping off the cable, little flaps of raw skin.
At this stage, it starts to fall off like a bad sunburn, 
only meatier. The smell hits me and I want to double over.
At least if the worst happens I am in a bathroom and can
easily find the can.

“Ma’am, do you know anything about this?” I ask,
pointing at the muck, retching under the stench. I’m pretty
sure more than a couple teeth are in the mess now.

“Oh dear. Why don’t you plumbers make these drains
good enough?”

“Well, we don’t expect you to push the cherished
remains of your dead husband down the drain.”

“But he needs his shower, his hygiene was never in
order, even before his accident. I just pushed it down with
my toes.”

Now, I normally don’t take kindly to this sort of
viscera, or the type of person who puts up with it, but
something struck me in that moment. Its brilliance was so
simple, but the idea that would revolutionize the in home
zombie phenomenon and plumbing as we know it. “Miss, would
you like me to install a garbage disposal in here?”

“Can you do that?”

Yes. Yes I can.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

HEP - 47 - Frankenstein's Apocalypse


This week its a gore-fest as the guys discuss the Evil Dead remake, chainsaw deaths, and the proper handling of ancient books of forbidden knowledge. Tony checks out the SCP Foundation; Albert screams a lot; dinosaurs continue to be awesome.

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Links:
SCP Foundation
I Am a Toaster
Hard Core History
Frankenstein's Army
I, Frankenstein
TVTropes
R.I.P.D.
T-Rex found with soft tissue
The Spellman Files: The Last Word
WWI who stopped sleeping after being shot in the head.

Retraction: Albert got his facts wrong when talking about Eragon in this episode. It was Carl Hiassen who "discovered" Christopher Paolini, not Orson Scott Card.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Albert vs. Movies - 1 - House Hunting


Albert flies it solo suffering his way through the real-estate themed horror film House Hunting with a full-length commentary. Check out the movie on Netflix and watch along he encounters monsters with goofy hats, annoying antagonists, and a twist ending that makes not the slightest bit of sense.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

HEP 40 - Sympathy for the Slenderman


This week the guys check out the viral web series Marble Hornets, and enter a terrifying world where the Slenderman photo-bombs every home movie ever. Later they discuss the competing values of privacy and security and Al complains about not nearly enough nukes going off.

Download it now.

Links to Things:
Smodcast
Dan Carlin
Vice nuke documentary
Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson
The Silver Sickle by Ellie Anne
Pontypool (movie)
Pontypool Changes Everything by Tony Burgess
House Hunting
Sympathy for the Slenderman

Thursday, May 9, 2013

HEP - 35 - Let's Kill Judas


In this week's episode, Al and Tony walk the haunted halls of The Orphanage and meet some ghosts that aren't completely stupid. They also talk about Minecraft factory farming, new movies, and the strangeness of geophagy.


Some Links:
Next week we talk about Primer (available on Netflix). Don't miss it!

Short Echoes Challenge #4 - The Jar That Was Bigger Than The World

"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space."

Or, at least, so we've been led to believe. But this month's challenge asks the question, what happens when you reach the edge? What happens when you stare beyond the bounds of reality and find something else staring back at you?

As usual we invite you to interpret this idea in your own way. The winner will receive ten dollars and will have their story produced in audio form and published on the podcast. The deadline for entry is June 14, 2013. We enjoy the weird, the horrific, the original. We have broad tastes, so check out out other Short Echoes series stories to hear what we like.

Thanks to Start Your Novel for the original idea for this prompt which you can find here.

Please send your manuscript to HEPodcast @ gmail.com. We prefer double spaced Word documents.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

HEP - 28 - Of Filbert and Feminism


This week Al and Tony review Disney's videogame mashup movie Wreck-it Ralph. Then Al gets in way over his head talking about feminism, and Tony's smoke detector signs up for Twitter.

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Links:

Fred: The Movie
beep
The Rape of James Bond
The Frighteners
Dead Alive
Black Sheep
Start Your Novel

Thursday, March 7, 2013

HEP - 26 - Bug Awful




This week, the guys talk about the psychological (probably) horror (debatably) film Bug. Also, they discuss the benefits of time travel vs. teleportation, pitch the script for the hit new cooking show Downtown Arby's and...I'm forgetting something here aren't I? It'll come to me. Just a second...BILL OBERST, OMG ITS BILL OBERST MAKING A GUEST APPEARANCE ON OUR PODCAST, I THOUGHT FOR SURE THAT WAS JUST A DREAM.

Download the full episode
Download just our interview Bill Oberst Jr.
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Links:
Bill Oberst Jr.
Take This Lollipop
Children of Sorrow

Morgellons Syndrom
A Scanner Darkly by Phillip K. Dick.
Drood
Downton Abbey

Next week we'll be talking about Safety Not Garanteed. Check it out on Netflix.

HEP Interview with Bill Oberst Jr.


Mr. Lincoln, a cult leader, an evil redneck, and a decade of being Christ, Bill Oberst Jr. is a man of many faces and a wealth of talent. In this interview, Bill talks to us about the life of a hard working hollywood actor. He also questions us on moral grounds involving a bride in the headlights.

 
We can't thank him enough for being the first guest on the Human Echoes Podcast. If you all enjoyed this interview as much as we did, find Bill at his website, or check out some of the movies he is in.

Directly download this episode here.
Trailer for Children of Sorrow.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

HEP - 16 - We Did Nazi This Coming


The Human Echoes Podcast wraps up 2012 with a look at at Nazi zombie flick, Dead Snow. Then the guys talk about how you get what you don't pay for when it comes to anti-virus software, and Tony discusses rewriting his brain's software through the power of hobbits. (Or was it habit? No, I'm pretty sure it was hobbits. Apparently those guys can to pretty much anything if you can work them loose from their godless nihilism carefree pastoral lifestyle.)

Download!

RSS!

Link Dump Waste Management Facility:

Dennis Mckenna on the Joe Rogan Podcast
McAfee founder on the run
Darknet
r/fifthworldproblems
Outpost
Brotherhood of the Wolf
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg (Seriously, that's the guys name. Duhigg. Checked it twice. What the heck kind of name is Duhigg?)
World of Vacancy by Charles Schmidt

Next week we'll be taking a look at Doctor Horrible's Sing Along Blog. Don't miss it!




Friday, December 21, 2012

HEP - Short Echoes 1 - Of Teeth and Claus by Albert Berg


In the first edition of our Short Echoes series, Albert gives us a story about the Krumpus. Listen to the audio, and the text is below.

Get the direct download here.

                                                                     
                                             
The fat man stepped quietly into the room, nearly gagging on the overpowering stench of sulfur that hung in the air. An iron-posted bed with yellowing sheets and a sagging mattress sat against the far wall, and under the sheets lay a contorted figure, still as stone, the rasping of breath the only testament to the fact that it was alive. The fat man sank into a wooden chair that sat near the bed with a sigh, and dropped the bag he carried with a thump. Strange that it seemed so heavy now when it was nearly empty, now when there was only one delivery left to make.

For a long time the fat man sat in silence. It was only after several minutes had passed and he was considering getting up to go that the thing in the bed finally spoke.

"You don't have to keep coming here," it said in a low growl of a voice that sounded like nothing so much as the voice of some demoniac hound.

"It seems only right," the fat man replied. "We rode together all those years. Some might say that you're a part of what I am."

"Was," growled the thing in the bed. "I was a part of you. And you me. All that's past now."

"Times have changed."

"Yes, yes they have. But that's not the problem. The problem is that people think they've changed."

"Perhaps they have."

"NO!" The word was a snarl. "They're the same. Underneath they're the same as they've always been. They still need me just as much as they need you." The thing under the sheets ended the sentence with a long fit of hacking wheezing coughs that tapered off into a gasp for air.

"I didn't come here to argue."

"No, of course now. Not you. Not Mr. Nice. You wouldn't let the stench of conflict foul your eternal air of joviality."

"It doesn't matter what I think anyway. It's not my doing. It was not I who brought you to this place."

The thing in the bed did not speak for a long time, and when it did it's voice was gentler, the growl offset by a tone of tenderness. "I do not blame you old friend. We are their servants. We do what we were created to do. And when they have no more need of us... But therein lies the tragedy. Because they do have a need of us. Of both of us."

"I do the best I can."

"I'm sure. With your lumps of coal? And how has that worked out?"

The fat man coughed and did not answer.

"I see. So you've abandoned even the pretext of punishment."

"It isn't me. I didn't ask for any of this."

"It's killing them. Or it's going to."

"That remains to be seen."

"Yes. And you will remain to see it. Because it will come back to haunt them. They're trying to enjoy light without darkness, pleasure without pain, joy without fear. But they're living a fantasy. Because life doesn't work that way. Sooner or later, life has teeth."

The thing in the bed turned then, drawing back the covers with one gnarled hand to reveal a hideous face, pocked and pitted with sores, some oozing yellow-green puss. One horn sprouted crookedly from a grey skinned head, while a festering bleeding stump marked the spot where it's twin once stood. In place of a nose there was a rotting hole in the center of the creature's face, and beneath it withered lips parted to reveal two rows of of teeth, blackened and rotting with age, but still razor-sharp and deadly. But worst of all were the eyes, not because they were monstrous, but because they were human, filled with bitterness and loss.

The fat man winced, but forced himself not to look away. "Some of them still remember you," he said. "They keep your name alive."

The thing in the bed waved its hand dismissively. "Hipsters. They don't mean it. There is no fear in their hearts. And even they do not speak of me as I was: ripping claws, piercing teeth, a howl that could curdle the blood of an ox. I'm nothing more than an amusement to them. They do not believe. They do not fear. Only children have the capacity for that kind of pure faith."

"Is the fear so necessary? Is the form not enough?"

"The fear is everything. The fear of punishment has power that the promise of reward can never hope to match. You have been there. You know their hearts. You see what they do. Tell me I am wrong. Tell me the hearts of children no longer give place to the seed of wickedness as they once did. Tell me that has changed, and...and I can pass on happily from this world."

The fat man slowly shook his head. "They are as they always were. Some are still good. But others... The worst of it is that their wickedness is excused, explained away by a people unwilling to see the truth. They have blinded themselves. They are like lepers who have put out their own eyes and convinced themselves that they have been healed because they can no longer see their sores. And it seems the more they convince themselves of their own goodness the worse they become. If they were punished as they once were, you my friend would feast for a year of Christmases."

The thing in the bed ran a forked tongue over its shriveled lips. "Oh to be out there again. To hunt as we once did. Do you remember the lad from Bavaria? Round about 1593 if memory serves."

"He had dropped his baby sister into a well," the fat man said. "He laughed about it. And no one knew."

"No one but us."

"He screamed for such a long time."

"Not nearly long enough. But when it was over I feasted on his heart and sucked the sweet marrow from the hollows of his bones. Tell me you regret that. Tell me you would take if back if you could."

The fat man opened his mouth as if to reply, but before he could speak the bag on the floor shifted slightly and a moan escaped from within.

The thing in the bed leaned slowly forward, a grin spreading across its face, pointed ears pricking up at the sound. "Oh, Claus, you really shouldn't have."

The fat man stood and tipped the bag forward, spilling his final gift out onto the floor. The child stared up at him with wild uncomprehending eyes, but when his gaze lighted on the Krampus he screamed into the gag wedged in his mouth and began to fight against his bonds.

The Krampus leaped down from the bed and looked into the child's eyes with terrible fascination. "I know what you did," he said. "I can smell it. And because you showed no mercy, none will be shown to you. Tonight you're going to learn what really happens to naughty children."

The fat man stooped to gather his finally empty bag and trudged wearily from the room. He shut the door against the screams, and took the elevator to the roof.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

HEP - 13 - Redneck Souvenirs and Rare Exports


This week the Al and Tony ride shotgun with some Norwegian rednecks in their review of the improbably delicious Christmas flick Rare Exports. Later the guys solve all some none of the problems with college football, and get brutally honest about bad writing and trunk novels. Also, Albert has apparently not taken enough internet abuse about his taste in movies, and that's all I'm going to say about that.

Download the podcast directly here. And while you're at it bring us some figgy pudding.
Or you can subscribe to our RSS feed here. But you still have to bring us some figgy pudding. We won't leave until we get some. We'll just sit here on your couch couch staring at you. We really like our figgy pudding.

LINKS!
Rare Exports on Netflix
Boy's Life by Robert McCammon
The Fat Man by Ken Harmon (also available as an audiobook from our fine sponsors at Audible.)

Next week we'll be taking a look at Sky One's adaptation of Terry Pratchett's Hogfather (in which the Grim Reaper is compelled to step into the role of Santa). Don't miss it!

If you feel that somehow our egos aren't over-inflated enough, you can follow us on Twitter @tsouthcotte and @Albert_Berg, or you can subscribe to the podcast's twitter feed at @HEPodcast. Our blogs are also available to the right of this message on the sidebar.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

HEP - 12 - Nothing is Scarier


This week Tony and Al drink from the suspiciously hydrodynamic goat skull that is Ti West's House of the Devil. Tony tells the story of the demonic bird-deity that lives in his chimney and is likely to kill any day now, just you wait and see. And later the guys discuss old-school gaming, authorial wagon ruts, Christmas music and the bitter-sweet tug of nostalgia.

Don't miss the podcast that's filled with action*, drama*, and two guys talking about stuff!
(*Sold separately)

Complete the ancient ritual by the blood-light of the eclipse and download the podcast directly here.
If your diabolical plan involves convincing someone to order pizza then reward yourself by subscribing directly to our RSS feed.

Links:
House of the Devil (on Netflix)
Anchorhead (that interactive fiction game Albert mentioned he was really getting into.)
The Fat Man by Ken Harmon (also available from our fine sponsors at Audible.com. Start your free trial today!)
Jasper Fforde
The Raw Shark Texts by Stephen Hall
Mark Z. Danielewski
This Would be Less Work if Albert Hadn't Namedropped so Many Authors
Seth Graham-Smith

Next week we're kicking off December with a feel-good Christmas flick about how Santa Claus used to be some kind of demon-monster thing. Check out Rare Exports on Netflix.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

HEP - 9 - Tunnel Trading Takes Focus


Self sacrifice may be noble, but so is knowing what you are getting out of the deal. This week, we review the horror flick Absentia, which is available on Netflix. It's a pretty damn grim movie, so the weak of heart should beware.

Also, we pimp several other podcasts, such as noted horror podcast The Drabblecast and Nightmare Magazine. Both of which can be found on iTunes and so on.

After that, Al and Tony drop into the distant past and talk about historical arson courtesy of Dan Carlin and his Hardcore History podcast. We learn why you never kill one of Ghengis Khan's messengers, and what Julius Ceasar used to conquer the known world and finish off the waning republic.

Check out the podcast that has been described as "Oh, that one" here. Better yet, slap this link in your favorite RSS Feed reader and never miss another episode.

You can follow us on Twitter @tsouthcotte and @Albert_Berg, or you can subscribe to the podcast's twitter feed at @HEPodcast. Our blogs are also available to the right of this message on the sidebar.

Finally, if you liked what you heard, feel free to throw us a small token of green appreciation. The link is on the side, and you can make a one time contribution or subscribe.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

HEP - 8 - All Our Ghosts are From the Future


This week, Tony and Al dig into The Innkeepers, a character-driven scare-filled horror film with deep echoes of missed connections and unrequited love. Then, the guys geek out about some of their favourite books, from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy to the oeuvre of Chuck Wendig with a minor detour through the world of Harry Potter. Finally Al tries to explain why he enjoyed The Lair of White Worm more than Dracula, and wonders which of the books of our day will be best remembered by history.

A few links:
The SCP Foundation
Danny Brophy's twitter

Get in on the trend and directly download the podcast that people in the future will have been all agog about. Better yet, jump into your personal time machine and get the low down on episodes from the past, and updates in the future with our state-of-the-art RSS Feed.

You can follow us on Twitter @tsouthcotte and @Albert_Berg, or you can subscribe to the podcast's twitter feed at @HEPodcast. Our blogs are also available to the right of this message on the sidebar.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

HEP - 6 - The Hobos Shall Inherit the Earth




In this week's episode we analyze the intellectual insanity that is Pontypool and dig into the deep questions raised by the film. Does language infect the way we perceive reality? Was the Ludovician born in Canada? Are musicals really all that bad?

Then, we expound the wonders of the outdoors, and Tony reveals how he escaped a life of being a rocket-wielding, fire-starting, almost-got-charged-with-a-felony supervillain and joined sacred and ancient order of the Cyber Monks. (Or maybe he did some community service IT work for some churches. Eh, close enough.)

Finally we slam a magazine into our verbal machine guns and mow down Hollywood's misrepresentation of firearms.

One more reminder: Our flash fiction contest for a short story involving a Men in Black style witness protection program is still going. Keep it under 500 words. If you win, we toss you five bucks and read it on the air. Send all entries to hepodcast@gmail.com.

Want in on the action? Put a round in the chamber and download directly here.

Need more? Switch over to full auto and subscribe to our RSS feed.

Links for the Nerdy:
Pontypool on Netflix (in the US). Watch it.
The Sapir-Worf Hypothesis. (No not that Whorf.)
Stephen Hall's Raw Shark Texts. It is a book. With pages and also ideas.

You can follow us on Twitter @tsouthcotte and @Albert_Berg, or you can subscribe to the podcast's twitter feed at @HEPodcast. Our blogs are also available to the right of this message on the sidebar.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

HEP - 5 - On the Road to Madness



This week in the Human Echoes Podcast, Al and Tony dive into the eviscerated entrails of indie horror flick Yellowbrickroad. Is it a metafictional examination of the medium of film? Is it a horrifying interpretation of The Wizard of Oz? Is it an anti-feminist manifesto? Listen in wonder and amazement as these questions and many more go completely unanswered.

In the second half of the podcast we share our (largely spoiler free) love for time travel flick Looper, and Albert explains why Ready Player One may be the best bad book you'll ever read. Then we discuss the basic protips everyone should know to make it through life, and attempt to court the favor of internet liberals by hating on Atlas Shrugged.

Also, in this week's episode: Tony turns an offhand remark into the first Human Echoes microfiction competition. Write a hundred word story about the Men in Black witness protection program and win the chance to be featured on the podcast that's been taking the internet by a storm. (And when we say, "storm" we mean, "some guy thought he got hit by a raindrop, but it turned out to be someone spitting out of a helicopter.")

First hit's free! Download this episode directly here.
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You can follow us on Twitter @tsouthcotte and @Albert_Berg, or you can subscribe to the podcast's twitter feed at @HEPodcast. Our blogs are also available to the right of this message on the sidebar. 

Thursday, September 27, 2012

HEP - 3 - No Sympathy for Cannibals






 
In the third episode of the Human Echoes Podcast, you will find our heads scraped to the scalp, and ready to talk about the South Korean thriller I Saw the Devil. Listen in as we detail the struggle between Secret Agent Man and Serial Killer Man.

Hear us well, as we wander between the vagaries of Facebook stalking by employers and bumper sticker philosophy.

Also, check out The Booth at The End on Hulu.com. Mostly because it kicks ass, and a little bit because everything you read on this site is perceived to be true by the hosts.

Thanks for listening folks, and if you like the podcast, do us a big fat favor and throw a review at it on iTunes or any other podcast downloaded you have aligned yourself with. Hit us up with an email at hepodcast@gmail.com, or tweet at us @hepodcast.


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Next week's movie will be: Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon.