HEP - 16 - We Did Nazi This Coming

The Human Echoes Podcast wraps up 2012 with a look at at Nazi zombie flick, Dead Snow. Then the guys talk about how you get what you don't pay for when it comes to anti-virus software, and Tony discusses rewriting his brain's software through the power of hobbits. (Or was it habit? No, I'm pretty sure it was hobbits. Apparently those guys can to pretty much anything if you can work them loose from their godless nihilism carefree pastoral lifestyle.)

Download!

RSS!

Link Dump Waste Management Facility:

Dennis Mckenna on the Joe Rogan Podcast
McAfee founder on the run
Darknet
r/fifthworldproblems
Outpost
Brotherhood of the Wolf
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg (Seriously, that's the guys name. Duhigg. Checked it twice. What the heck kind of name is Duhigg?)
World of Vacancy by Charles Schmidt

Next week we'll be taking a look at Doctor Horrible's Sing Along Blog. Don't miss it!

HEP - 15 - The Gift of the Gumshoe

On this episode of the Human Echoes Podcast the Christmas cheer continues as the guys delve into the book The Fat Man: a Tale of North Pole Noir by Ken Harmon. Also, Albert reads a horror themed Christmas short story, and Tony admits he's never seen It's a Wonderful Life.

Download the podcast directly here.
Or subscribe to our RSS feed.

Links
The Fat Man by Ken Harmon
The Hagakure
It's a Wonderful Life
The Greatest Gift by Phillip Van Doren Stern (The short story that inspired It's a Wonderful Life. Also possibly an early appearance of The Doctor. Think about it: strange man, shows up exactly when he's needed, starts mucking about with timelines just to prove a point? Makes way more sense than "an angel did it" in my not-so-humble opinion.)

Next week follow along as we finish out the year with Nazi zombie movie Dead Snow. (Nazi zombies have their own genre now. Whodathunkit?)

HEP - Short Echoes 1 - Of Teeth and Claus by Albert Berg

In the first edition of our Short Echoes series, Albert gives us a story about the Krumpus. Listen to the audio, and the text is below.

Get the direct download here.

                                                                     
                                             
The fat man stepped quietly into the room, nearly gagging on the overpowering stench of sulfur that hung in the air. An iron-posted bed with yellowing sheets and a sagging mattress sat against the far wall, and under the sheets lay a contorted figure, still as stone, the rasping of breath the only testament to the fact that it was alive. The fat man sank into a wooden chair that sat near the bed with a sigh, and dropped the bag he carried with a thump. Strange that it seemed so heavy now when it was nearly empty, now when there was only one delivery left to make.

For a long time the fat man sat in silence. It was only after several minutes had passed and he was considering getting up to go that the thing in the bed finally spoke.

"You don't have to keep coming here," it said in a low growl of a voice that sounded like nothing so much as the voice of some demoniac hound.

"It seems only right," the fat man replied. "We rode together all those years. Some might say that you're a part of what I am."

"Was," growled the thing in the bed. "I was a part of you. And you me. All that's past now."

"Times have changed."

"Yes, yes they have. But that's not the problem. The problem is that people think they've changed."

"Perhaps they have."

"NO!" The word was a snarl. "They're the same. Underneath they're the same as they've always been. They still need me just as much as they need you." The thing under the sheets ended the sentence with a long fit of hacking wheezing coughs that tapered off into a gasp for air.

"I didn't come here to argue."

"No, of course now. Not you. Not Mr. Nice. You wouldn't let the stench of conflict foul your eternal air of joviality."

"It doesn't matter what I think anyway. It's not my doing. It was not I who brought you to this place."

The thing in the bed did not speak for a long time, and when it did it's voice was gentler, the growl offset by a tone of tenderness. "I do not blame you old friend. We are their servants. We do what we were created to do. And when they have no more need of us... But therein lies the tragedy. Because they do have a need of us. Of both of us."

"I do the best I can."

"I'm sure. With your lumps of coal? And how has that worked out?"

The fat man coughed and did not answer.

"I see. So you've abandoned even the pretext of punishment."

"It isn't me. I didn't ask for any of this."

"It's killing them. Or it's going to."

"That remains to be seen."

"Yes. And you will remain to see it. Because it will come back to haunt them. They're trying to enjoy light without darkness, pleasure without pain, joy without fear. But they're living a fantasy. Because life doesn't work that way. Sooner or later, life has teeth."

The thing in the bed turned then, drawing back the covers with one gnarled hand to reveal a hideous face, pocked and pitted with sores, some oozing yellow-green puss. One horn sprouted crookedly from a grey skinned head, while a festering bleeding stump marked the spot where it's twin once stood. In place of a nose there was a rotting hole in the center of the creature's face, and beneath it withered lips parted to reveal two rows of of teeth, blackened and rotting with age, but still razor-sharp and deadly. But worst of all were the eyes, not because they were monstrous, but because they were human, filled with bitterness and loss.

The fat man winced, but forced himself not to look away. "Some of them still remember you," he said. "They keep your name alive."

The thing in the bed waved its hand dismissively. "Hipsters. They don't mean it. There is no fear in their hearts. And even they do not speak of me as I was: ripping claws, piercing teeth, a howl that could curdle the blood of an ox. I'm nothing more than an amusement to them. They do not believe. They do not fear. Only children have the capacity for that kind of pure faith."

"Is the fear so necessary? Is the form not enough?"

"The fear is everything. The fear of punishment has power that the promise of reward can never hope to match. You have been there. You know their hearts. You see what they do. Tell me I am wrong. Tell me the hearts of children no longer give place to the seed of wickedness as they once did. Tell me that has changed, and...and I can pass on happily from this world."

The fat man slowly shook his head. "They are as they always were. Some are still good. But others... The worst of it is that their wickedness is excused, explained away by a people unwilling to see the truth. They have blinded themselves. They are like lepers who have put out their own eyes and convinced themselves that they have been healed because they can no longer see their sores. And it seems the more they convince themselves of their own goodness the worse they become. If they were punished as they once were, you my friend would feast for a year of Christmases."

The thing in the bed ran a forked tongue over its shriveled lips. "Oh to be out there again. To hunt as we once did. Do you remember the lad from Bavaria? Round about 1593 if memory serves."

"He had dropped his baby sister into a well," the fat man said. "He laughed about it. And no one knew."

"No one but us."

"He screamed for such a long time."

"Not nearly long enough. But when it was over I feasted on his heart and sucked the sweet marrow from the hollows of his bones. Tell me you regret that. Tell me you would take if back if you could."

The fat man opened his mouth as if to reply, but before he could speak the bag on the floor shifted slightly and a moan escaped from within.

The thing in the bed leaned slowly forward, a grin spreading across its face, pointed ears pricking up at the sound. "Oh, Claus, you really shouldn't have."

The fat man stood and tipped the bag forward, spilling his final gift out onto the floor. The child stared up at him with wild uncomprehending eyes, but when his gaze lighted on the Krampus he screamed into the gag wedged in his mouth and began to fight against his bonds.

The Krampus leaped down from the bed and looked into the child's eyes with terrible fascination. "I know what you did," he said. "I can smell it. And because you showed no mercy, none will be shown to you. Tonight you're going to learn what really happens to naughty children."

The fat man stooped to gather his finally empty bag and trudged wearily from the room. He shut the door against the screams, and took the elevator to the roof.

HEP - 14 - Death Takes a Totally Inappropriate Holiday

The guys journey to Discworld for this edition of the Human Echoes Podcast and unwrap the gift that is Hogfather. Along the way they discuss the strengths of the various mobile operating systems and again highlight how Colorado is superior to Florida in pretty much every way imaginable.

Get the direct download here.

Subscribe to the RSS here.

Lynx:
Hogfather on Netflix
Boatloads of Terry Pratchett books

Next week we'll be discussing The Fat Man by Ken Harmon. It is a book with words. Also elves that solve mysteries, sentient toys, carnivorous mistletoe and...look just tune in next week okay?

Want more? Join the ranks of our glorious social media army! Follow us at @tsouthcotte and @Albert_Berg, or you can subscribe to the podcast's twitter feed at @HEPodcast.

HEP - 13 - Redneck Souvenirs and Rare Exports

This week the Al and Tony ride shotgun with some Norwegian rednecks in their review of the improbably delicious Christmas flick Rare Exports. Later the guys solve all some none of the problems with college football, and get brutally honest about bad writing and trunk novels. Also, Albert has apparently not taken enough internet abuse about his taste in movies, and that's all I'm going to say about that.

Download the podcast directly here. And while you're at it bring us some figgy pudding.
Or you can subscribe to our RSS feed here. But you still have to bring us some figgy pudding. We won't leave until we get some. We'll just sit here on your couch couch staring at you. We really like our figgy pudding.

LINKS!
Rare Exports on Netflix
Boy's Life by Robert McCammon
The Fat Man by Ken Harmon (also available as an audiobook from our fine sponsors at Audible.)

Next week we'll be taking a look at Sky One's adaptation of Terry Pratchett's Hogfather (in which the Grim Reaper is compelled to step into the role of Santa). Don't miss it!

If you feel that somehow our egos aren't over-inflated enough, you can follow us on Twitter @tsouthcotte and @Albert_Berg, or you can subscribe to the podcast's twitter feed at @HEPodcast. Our blogs are also available to the right of this message on the sidebar.

HEP - 12 - Nothing is Scarier

This week Tony and Al drink from the suspiciously hydrodynamic goat skull that is Ti West's House of the Devil. Tony tells the story of the demonic bird-deity that lives in his chimney and is likely to kill any day now, just you wait and see. And later the guys discuss old-school gaming, authorial wagon ruts, Christmas music and the bitter-sweet tug of nostalgia.

Don't miss the podcast that's filled with action*, drama*, and two guys talking about stuff!
(*Sold separately)

Complete the ancient ritual by the blood-light of the eclipse and download the podcast directly here.
If your diabolical plan involves convincing someone to order pizza then reward yourself by subscribing directly to our RSS feed.

Links:
House of the Devil (on Netflix)
Anchorhead (that interactive fiction game Albert mentioned he was really getting into.)
The Fat Man by Ken Harmon (also available from our fine sponsors at Audible.com. Start your free trial today!)
Jasper Fforde
The Raw Shark Texts by Stephen Hall
Mark Z. Danielewski
This Would be Less Work if Albert Hadn't Namedropped so Many Authors
Seth Graham-Smith

Next week we're kicking off December with a feel-good Christmas flick about how Santa Claus used to be some kind of demon-monster thing. Check out Rare Exports on Netflix.

HEP - 11 - Arnold Toynbee is Alive and Well on Jupiter

This week, Tony and Al philosophize about the fountain of youth as they unpack the documentary Resurrect Dead: The Mystery of the Toynbee Tiles; then Al talks about why it wasn't worth it to go and see Skyfall while beleaguered by mononucleosis. Also, the guys reveal that the thing they're really thankful for is not having to experience the Russian front of World War II.

To unlock the secret to eternal life on the planet Jupiter, download the episode directly here.
If you're already immortal, why not make your eternal existence a little easier and subscribe to the RSS feed?

Links:
Watch Resurrect Dead on Netflix.
Blindsight by Peter Watts (a free download!)
The Hardcore History Podcast.
[Some fourth item I'm probably forgetting right now]

Next week, we'll be discussing House of the Devil.

(If you get the reference made in the title of this podcast you are one of the awesome).

Don't forget to get your free audio book from Audible.com. Click on the sidebar for more details.

You can follow us on Twitter @tsouthcotte and @Albert_Berg, or you can subscribe to the podcast's twitter feed at @HEPodcast. Our blogs are also available to the right of this message on the sidebar.

HEP - 10 - It's Not The Fall that Kills You

This week Al and Tony munch on the sweet sweet eye candy that is The Fall with a completely unnecessary side course of post-presidential election commentary. Then the guys delve into the mysteries of nostalgia, and  wonder which of the movies of our era will endure, and which will have our children scratching their heads asking themselves, "They thought this was good?" All this, PLUS, musings on the conceptual nature of reality and how stories are the fundamental building blocks that make up our world.

Download the episode directly here.
Like what you hear? Want more? Feed your addiction with our RSS feed.

Somewhat Related Links:
The Fall on Netflix
The SCP Foundation Website
I am a Toaster

Completely Unrelated Links:
Zaphod Beeblebrox for President

Also, check out next week's movie before we talk about it. Watch Resurrect Dead: The Mystery of the Toynbee Tiles and help spread the message of alien zombies from Jupiter. Or something.


You can follow us on Twitter @tsouthcotte and @Albert_Berg, or you can subscribe to the podcast's twitter feed at @HEPodcast. Our blogs are also available to the right of this message on the sidebar. 

HEP - 9 - Tunnel Trading Takes Focus

Self sacrifice may be noble, but so is knowing what you are getting out of the deal. This week, we review the horror flick Absentia, which is available on Netflix. It's a pretty damn grim movie, so the weak of heart should beware.

Also, we pimp several other podcasts, such as noted horror podcast The Drabblecast and Nightmare Magazine. Both of which can be found on iTunes and so on.

After that, Al and Tony drop into the distant past and talk about historical arson courtesy of Dan Carlin and his Hardcore History podcast. We learn why you never kill one of Ghengis Khan's messengers, and what Julius Ceasar used to conquer the known world and finish off the waning republic.

Check out the podcast that has been described as "Oh, that one" here. Better yet, slap this link in your favorite RSS Feed reader and never miss another episode.

You can follow us on Twitter @tsouthcotte and @Albert_Berg, or you can subscribe to the podcast's twitter feed at @HEPodcast. Our blogs are also available to the right of this message on the sidebar.

Finally, if you liked what you heard, feel free to throw us a small token of green appreciation. The link is on the side, and you can make a one time contribution or subscribe.

HEP - 8 - All Our Ghosts are From the Future

This week, Tony and Al dig into The Innkeepers, a character-driven scare-filled horror film with deep echoes of missed connections and unrequited love. Then, the guys geek out about some of their favourite books, from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy to the oeuvre of Chuck Wendig with a minor detour through the world of Harry Potter. Finally Al tries to explain why he enjoyed The Lair of White Worm more than Dracula, and wonders which of the books of our day will be best remembered by history.

A few links:
The SCP Foundation
Danny Brophy's twitter

Get in on the trend and directly download the podcast that people in the future will have been all agog about. Better yet, jump into your personal time machine and get the low down on episodes from the past, and updates in the future with our state-of-the-art RSS Feed.

You can follow us on Twitter @tsouthcotte and @Albert_Berg, or you can subscribe to the podcast's twitter feed at @HEPodcast. Our blogs are also available to the right of this message on the sidebar.

HEP - 7 - This Podcast is Full of Weirdos

This week Tony and Al tackle David Wong's most recent venture into hilarious horror, This Book is Full of Spiders. How well does it stand up to its predecessor John Dies at the End? Whatever happened to Monster Dave? Is giving this book two thumbs up too chairitable?
Then, in the second half of the podcast, Albert gripes about missed opportunities in John Hornor Jacob's debut novel Southern Gods, and the guys discuss the finer points of the C'thulhu mythos.

Tune in to the pirate broadcast of things beyond mortal ken, and download the podcast directly here.
Or, give yourself over to the will of the Dread One Who Sleeps in R'lyeh and subscibe to our RSS feed.
Relevant Links:

John Dies at the End
This Book is Full of Spiders
Southern Gods
The Call of C'thulhu (Free Download!)

You can follow us on Twitter @tsouthcotte and @Albert_Berg, or you can subscribe to the podcast's twitter feed at @HEPodcast. Our blogs are also available to the right of this message on the sidebar.

HEP - 6 - The Hobos Shall Inherit the Earth

In this week's episode we analyze the intellectual insanity that is Pontypool and dig into the deep questions raised by the film. Does language infect the way we perceive reality? Was the Ludovician born in Canada? Are musicals really all that bad?

Then, we expound the wonders of the outdoors, and Tony reveals how he escaped a life of being a rocket-wielding, fire-starting, almost-got-charged-with-a-felony supervillain and joined sacred and ancient order of the Cyber Monks. (Or maybe he did some community service IT work for some churches. Eh, close enough.)

Finally we slam a magazine into our verbal machine guns and mow down Hollywood's misrepresentation of firearms.

One more reminder: Our flash fiction contest for a short story involving a Men in Black style witness protection program is still going. Keep it under 500 words. If you win, we toss you five bucks and read it on the air. Send all entries to hepodcast@gmail.com.

Want in on the action? Put a round in the chamber and download directly here.

Need more? Switch over to full auto and subscribe to our RSS feed.

Links for the Nerdy:
Pontypool on Netflix (in the US). Watch it.
The Sapir-Worf Hypothesis. (No not that Whorf.)
Stephen Hall's Raw Shark Texts. It is a book. With pages and also ideas.

You can follow us on Twitter @tsouthcotte and @Albert_Berg, or you can subscribe to the podcast's twitter feed at @HEPodcast. Our blogs are also available to the right of this message on the sidebar.

HEP - 5 - On the Road to Madness

This week in the Human Echoes Podcast, Al and Tony dive into the eviscerated entrails of indie horror flick Yellowbrickroad. Is it a metafictional examination of the medium of film? Is it a horrifying interpretation of The Wizard of Oz? Is it an anti-feminist manifesto? Listen in wonder and amazement as these questions and many more go completely unanswered.

In the second half of the podcast we share our (largely spoiler free) love for time travel flick Looper, and Albert explains why Ready Player One may be the best bad book you'll ever read. Then we discuss the basic protips everyone should know to make it through life, and attempt to court the favor of internet liberals by hating on Atlas Shrugged.

Also, in this week's episode: Tony turns an offhand remark into the first Human Echoes microfiction competition. Write a hundred word story about the Men in Black witness protection program and win the chance to be featured on the podcast that's been taking the internet by a storm. (And when we say, "storm" we mean, "some guy thought he got hit by a raindrop, but it turned out to be someone spitting out of a helicopter.")

First hit's free! Download this episode directly here.
Want more? Feed your addiction with our RSS feed.

You can follow us on Twitter @tsouthcotte and @Albert_Berg, or you can subscribe to the podcast's twitter feed at @HEPodcast. Our blogs are also available to the right of this message on the sidebar. 

HEP - 4 - Steven Segal vs. Leslie Vernon

It is a little known fact that most serial killers can be found at community colleges taking courses in Photoshop. This week Al Berg and Tony Southcotte breakdown Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon.

In keeping with our strict policy of tangents, we also find ourselves fixated on the creations of Joss Whedon, with both The Avengers and Cabin in the Woods.

We also talk about what might be the best pure zombie book out there: World War Z by Max Brooks.

Download the awesome directly into your aural canal here.

Next week we will be reviewing YellowBrickRoad, which is available on netflix and on a VHS tapes in your creepy neighbor's outhouse. It really might be easier to stream it.

You can follow us on Twitter @tsouthcotte and @Albert_Berg, or you can subscribe to the podcast's twitter feed at @HEPodcast. Our blogs are also available to the right of this message on the sidebar. If you want to subscribe to this podcast, toss http://hepodcast.libsyn.com/rss into the RSS reader of your choice.

HEP - 3 - No Sympathy for Cannibals

 

In the third episode of the Human Echoes Podcast, you will find our heads scraped to the scalp, and ready to talk about the South Korean thriller I Saw the Devil. Listen in as we detail the struggle between Secret Agent Man and Serial Killer Man.

Hear us well, as we wander between the vagaries of Facebook stalking by employers and bumper sticker philosophy.

Also, check out The Booth at The End on Hulu.com. Mostly because it kicks ass, and a little bit because everything you read on this site is perceived to be true by the hosts.

Thanks for listening folks, and if you like the podcast, do us a big fat favor and throw a review at it on iTunes or any other podcast downloaded you have aligned yourself with. Hit us up with an email at hepodcast@gmail.com, or tweet at us @hepodcast.

You can find the direct download here.

You can also sign up for the RSS Feed with this address:

Next week's movie will be: Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon.

HEP - 2 - Audio From Our Secret Moon Base

Time travel, men in sunglasses, low budgets, and a bizzare variant of other conversations are featured in our second podcast.

Listen as Albert and Tony tell you how to man up. On our love - hate relationship with Chuck Palahniuk. We even cover wobbly toilets in this podcast. Is it even possible that you could want more? Hit subscirbe, channel the ancient old gods of the RSS feed, or find us on iTunes, the Zune Marketplace, and well, here.

A few items of note:

We discussed a pair of movies that are available for free on YouTube.

12 Angry Men (1957)

Rope (1948)

The episode download link can be found here.


You can follow us on Twitter @tsouthcotte and @Albert_Berg, or you can subscribe to the podcast's twitter feed at @HEPodcast. Our blogs are also available to the right of this message on the sidebar. If you want to subscribe to this podcast, toss http://hepodcast.libsyn.com/rss into the RSS reader of your choice.

If you have any questions or comments on The Human Echoes Podcast, feel free to drop us a line at HEPodcast@gmail.com. We might even read it on the air.

The movie for next week will be I Saw The Devil, and it is available on Netflix and other fine disc rental emporiums.

This man is from the future. And the past. And the fucking moon. Vote Albert Berg 2012.

Human Echoes Podcast - 1 - It Starts With Donkeys

For a direct download, click here.

For iTunes, click here.

This podcast is here because text could no longer contain the thoughts of two young writers named Tony and Albert. You, and the rest of the world may not even know it yet, but you have been deprived of the dulcet tones of these handsome and charming examples of evolutionary perfection.

Listen, as we talk about donkeys in the most profane ways. Stand in awe as we make light of domestic abuse, Breaking Bad, and the smell of basset hounds. Commute with the knowledge that we are with you in your car, explaining how to fix the ills of the world.

Or, you know, just download it, rate it, review it.

For a free download of this weeks book, When Graveyards Yawn, by G. Wells Taylor, click here.

Keep up with us next week as we review and talk about the movie Lunapolis.